What you can’t see in this photo is how much pain I’m in. I’m currently sitting on a coach to travel home, and my hip pain is enough that I want to cry. The trip has only started, and I have three hours to go. At the end of it, I have to climb down stairs with a leg that is barely able to bend. But you can’t see any of that.
When I took this photo at lunch time, I was genuinely happy. I would say I am now, but I’m honestly already bored from the prospect of a three hour bus ride. I am content right now, even as pain radiates down my leg, with a feeling I can only describe as necrotic. It feels like the marrow in my right leg is rotting. But I’m content, because this is my life. This isn’t just an injury. This pain level won’t last forever, but pain is a part of my daily life.
Pain can be as mundane as doing paperwork. I think that’s something people who don’t live in pain fail to realise. When it’s a daily fact, it’s no longer worth noting. It still controls my life, but I am fully capable of happiness, even while in immense pain. I’m able to live my life, restricted, but meaningful and with joy.